Let’s talk about the ridiculous.
Is it ridiculous to think you could be successful? I would have to say it depends on the day.
On days when I’m tired and feeling rung dry, it sounds like the most ridiculous thing in the world to think that I can reach my goal. In that moment, it can feel so incredibly overwhelming, that you might find me slunk down in the corner alternately crying and eating ice cream. Sometimes simultaneously.
Our brains are amazing things. Capable of so much and yet so susceptible to fear. We have two parts of our “thinking brains.” Part one is called the amygdala, or the primal brain. It is responsible for our flight, fight and freeze responses. Our amygdala is constantly working in the background, scanning for threats and ready to call us to action when needed. Thankfully, as we grow, we begin to live less out of our primal brains as our prefrontal cortex develops. Our prefrontal cortex is where our ability to reason and logic lives. And yes, I just used logic as a verb. This is the part of our brain that sees the big picture, that can take what we see, feel and hear and break it down logically. Do we need to be afraid of that, do we need to reactive aggressively, do we need to cower and protect. This is where all that information is processed, and we can come to well thought out conclusions.
What happens when we are overwhelmed? Typically, we “pop our top” or rather, we shut off our prefrontal cortex and let our primal brain take over. Where reason and logic has no place.
It’s like a cartoon strip:
Me: Starting my own business is really overwhelming and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail.
Prefrontal Cortex: That’s ridiculous, you’ve gotten tons of positive responses and you’re getting better at this every day. Just take a deep breath and continue moving forward.
Amygdala: *smashes prefrontal cortex behind the door* You’re right, this is scary, too scary. You’re going to fail so let’s cut out now and protect what you still have. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
Me: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
The good thing is that this is not how it always has to be. The more that we practice stopping the panic, taking a deep breath and visualizing our goals. The faster we can turn our prefrontal cortex back on and think logically. The more this happens the less the little guy gets crushed behind the door. The less that fear has control.
A good way to practice this is with the mundane, everyday stuff. How do you react to stress? Can we begin to intentionally take a deep breath when we find ourselves in a stressful situation? The little irritants are a great place to practice because those don’t feel life threatening. The flight, fight or freeze responses aren’t typically so volatile. The copier is jammed once again (been there!), begin to intentionally take a deep breath before you react. Give yourself a chance to think through how you want to respond. Just like a muscle, the more we strengthen now, the better prepared we will be when we need to act quickly.
It’s not ridiculous to reach for your goals. It’s not ridiculous to have big dreams. It’s not ridiculous to believe in yourself. Don’t let fear get the best of you, because you can’t decide whether to fight, flee or freeze.
Take a deep breath, visualize your big dream and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!
Go in grace and God bless,
Colleen
